Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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