1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Randomize
