Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
A bitchslap is in order.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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