It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
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