shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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