I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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