barbara walters just said penis...
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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