a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Randomize
