He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
