Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
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