I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
