I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
