You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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