the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
