youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Come back. Shots need mouths.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize