I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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