oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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