I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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