did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize