i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
So much Jack, so little girl.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize