Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
