Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
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