He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I wish you could order shots online.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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