Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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