Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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