Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
