it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
