Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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