farters have to be the big spoon...
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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