I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
