I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
