HIV tests are more positive than that guy
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
