i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
