just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
