Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
