It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
