it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
The best revenge is premature balding
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
