the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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