Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
