i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
this boner is exhausting
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
