return my video game
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
