if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
