so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
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Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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