it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
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