You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
