He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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