Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize