They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
