my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize