Where is the hickey?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize