i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
