I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize