so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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