U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I fill condoms, not promises.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
