last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
