We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize