Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
