if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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