He asked to "fluff my boner.."
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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