I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize
