I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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