he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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