She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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