Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Randomize
