Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
