So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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