He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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