I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
