We named our party play list daddy issues
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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